Well, a little rambling, like Dan calls riffing, about us.
I have had a fantasy kink about spanking, since as long as I can remember. (from sometime in my teenage years). My initial thoughts were of being the spanker, but an equal fascination of being spanked when I would see that situation in a magazine in photos or simply being described in words. Spanking thoughts and putting yourself into the spanknig always created an erection for me, with the normal results for a young male.
I hid spanking from my future wife, as I loved her and did not want her to think of me as a pervert and thus an undesirable life partner. We married in our early mid 20's. We have children, and never spanked our kids. I eventually gave in to my fetish with buying spanking magazines and hiding them away, like I had done in my teenage years, and after more than ten years told her a bit more about my kink. She wanted nothing to do with it, but did not prohibit my buying magazines as long as I hid them.
Fast forward another 20 years and with two of the three children grown up and left the home, I broached trying spanking when the youngest was out. It was not accepted as an idea to pursue.
By the time the youngest was away to university, I had discovered the Disciplinary wives club, and purchased many of their publications, one of which was for the woman whose husband wants her to spank him, and how to mentally approach spanking her man. Another was for the man as to how to discuss that you would be the person being spanked, and accepting being spanked, and promoting your wife that she will have a positive experience.
Cindy, knowing this was a fetish that would never go away, read the material on the website, and what I had purchased! She agreed to parts of what she read, but felt parts were too severe to ever be reasonable. I liked the nonchalance of spanking your husband when needs it, as personified in this photo from the website
I always loved the wife smiling, and the idea that a wife smiles while spanking you, and solving a problem.
I started a blog called spankedhubby, after discovering the dwc website, but after many years my blog simply disappeared, without any warning or explanation.
I have purchased many implements over the years, many from the DWC site when it existed. We threw away ones that were too severe. We visited Aunt Kay once, and slowly spanking has become more of our life.
Cindy and I are now quite happy with spanking, but it still happens in stages, as previously described on this blog
Cindy is now quite happy when spanking me, for whatever reason she feels needs to be changed or for something I did that upset her.
We are in our late 70's (past what one would call our middle 70's) and have a very exciting sex life after more than 50 years being married.
I still get erections (sometimes) by being told I will be spanked, and the erotic thought fills the moment,, but age and knowing it will be a real spanking, not a play spanking, does temper my reaction sometimes.
Cindy is very receptive to love making the day after spanking me. but rarely the day of. A spanking is given for a reason, and is not rewarded with sex afterwards. Anticipation does exist however, for both of us, and the passion is even greater when making love.
Many things can get in the way of a couple having sex as they age, and to me I think spanking helps keep the love and sexual desire AWAKE!
Your history and your thoughts about spanking in relation to your love making. (you can answer both or either)
Always leave them smiling
bottoms up
Red
Too bad thus DWC publications aren’t available…love that y’all are still at it even if I took a while to get there. Thanks for getting back to blogging.
ReplyDelete-3pops
3pops:
DeleteI imagine the booklets are available in some small corner of the internet, and truly wish I had never gotten rid of them. The disciplined hubbies site on the side of my blog has links to much of the spankign information that used to beon the dwc site. click that link and have a look.
I am blogging now, but who knows for how long. I don't
bottoms up
Red
I seem to be one of the few in this lifestyle who did NOT have an early interest in spanking. I really don't recall having any interest in it until I was in my late 30s. I probably encountered it in magazines, like Penthouse Variations, before then, but it clearly didn't make much of an impression.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I remember having a strong reaction to spanking-oriented content was when an old HBO series called "Real Sex" had a segment on adult spanking. It turned me on enough that I bought a (flimsy) leather paddle at an adult "novelty" store and asked my wife to use it on me. She did, but it was purely erotic; not real discipline or punishment. That became a problem. She became concerned that she was giving me fake spankings after real bad behavior, which might simply reinforce the bad behavior. So, she stopped doing it.
I didn't see that as a huge sacrifice at the time. I'd been into it, but kind of at normal "kink" levels. Then, at some point, I came across the old Disciplinary Wives Club website. It really bowled me over, to an extent *way* beyond the Real Sex segment or anything else I'd encountered. I'm pretty sure it was the first time I'd encountered the notion of "real" spankings to address real behavior and attitude issues.
I was totally obsessed, devouring most of the content on the website over the course of three days. I finally told my wife about it, though I had no idea how she would react. She asked me whether this was something I actually wanted to try. I reluctantly admitted it was. She agreed to take a look at the DWC website. She called me at work after doing so and told me to buy a hairbrush. I think she thought the whole thing was a little weird but was willing to give it a shot. That was 20+ years ago, and we've been in a DD lifestyle to one extent or another ever since.
My apologies, as I have no idea how this did not publish automatically like every other comment. I had been looking forward to how your spanking DD started.
DeleteAlso, although I am logged into my blog usng my gmail account, and I have just sent the same reply to you via email, I have to identify myself otherwise my reply is shown as anomymous. Something is truly fu*ked up on my blog.
As with you, I devoured everything on the DWC website, I also ordered their books, and then asked Cindy to read the website.
The website was the first articulate, reasonable, and intelligently expressed way of explaining domestic discipline. Cindy liked parts of it, but found other parts far too severe and said so.
I found the booklet that said how to behave and react to encourage your wife to spank you, and themethods were reasonable. Cindy also read the booklet of advice for the wife whos husband wants her to spank him. Those were excellent.
You might want to ask jerry if he still had any of that on a computer file, as I would love to publize them on your blog or mine.
Reading the website, Cindy was encouraged enough tostart spanking me for real, but not very hard. As the years have gone by, the spankings have become more intense.
Red
Yeah, Blogger can be such a pain in the ass. On my blog, it's constantly diverting comments to spam even though there is nothing objectionable about the content and even when it is an established commenter. And, it often publishes a comment, then hours or days later removes it. Maddening. I've played around with Wordpress and keep a duplicate site there (though I haven't updated it in several months), but it is equally difficult in its own ways.
DeleteDan
Regarding DD and keeping sexually active as we age, I have some mixed feelings. There definitely is an erotic element to my DD interest, though for me it's always been much more about the accountability and consequences that DD involves, rather than the spanking per se.
ReplyDeleteWhen we first started DD, and for the first several years, I always got an erection before a spanking, even if I really, really dreaded the spanking itself. These days, it's more like 50-50. There are times that I think DD may actually get in the way of sexual consistency, because there have been times that I've hesitated to initiate sex, because I knew some bit of bad behavior had happened and that Anne might say, "Sure! But first, you have a spanking coming." But, in general, I do think that the DD and FLR aspects of our relationship do energize the relationship and help keep an erotic undertone in play.
FYI, I have most of the DWC publications. I'm happy to email copies for personal use.
hi Dan: As you can see, I had not read this before commenting above. I would appreciate receiving what you have, and will not publish unless Jerry tells you that it is okay to publish segments.
DeleteI am getting better at accepting spankings, but not happy while being spanked. Cindy has at times said: "Do you need to be spanked?" and I almost always immediatley say no, and try to change my behavior. However, I am learning to say, probably, but it is really hard to say YES!
Knowing I am in a bad mood, or behaving badly, i have said yes, as it truly snaps me out of it. Also, sex will never be happening when I am in a bad mood, so for both of us it is better that I am spanked now!
Upon reflection, a spanking now makes a more loving togetherness immediately therafter, and that is what we both want.
PS: i had to enter the ttwd name and url, again, even though I had just entered it for my comment on yoru first comment (and google name is not available to be chosen. WEIRD
bottoms up
Red
Thanks, I’m a frequent flyer on Dan’s blog, and have no problem accessing his link to the www archive. I try to avoid dark corners though…and would not want to violate or support anyone trying to profit by stealing copyrighted info…so I’ll wait patiently.
ReplyDelete-3pops
Send me an email, and I'll send you copies for personal use. I'm confident Aunt Kay's husband doesn't care. I don't think he'd want someone profiting from their work, but he wouldn't mind someone getting a copy for personal consumption.
DeleteI agree. Sharing privately would be what Aunt Kay would want, as she desired to spread the word near and far. Cindy and I met Aunt Kay and her husband over dinner once, and then went back to their p lace for her to deomonstrate how to use some of the implements for Cindy, on my bottom. bottoms up
DeleteRed
I was dating and she came to my apartment when the previous day she said she would drop by late. I was sitting on the toilet, just out of the shower, of all things masturbating, I don't recall hearing her come in or how long she had been watching, what I did hear was finish and we needed to talk. The talking was a spanking which I thought was some sexual foreplay, I soon learned it was not. She had me over her knee, she sitting on the toilet and her hand landing hard and fast. When she stood me up I thought it was over but with a tight grip to the front room, she pulled an hairbrush out of her purse and I know I was heard as the hairbrush landed on my already spanked bare bottom. I was told when she stood me up I could ask her to leave or I would do as she said which was face the corner. I did face the corner, a good half hour, not talking. When told to leave the corner, hands at side I stood there before her and learned what was expected, and that the marriage was still going to happen but with her rules. Been married for a number of years, the spankings still happen, they hurt, and she has had me call her Mommy when I need a spanking, Mommies spank naughty little boys. Spankings not only happen at home, and the marriage has been strong, but it is because of my wife/mommy spankings. Jack
ReplyDeleteJack: thanks for sharing Red
ReplyDelete